exotic travel, whatever

I think I'm falling apart. Maybe feeling my age.

Some times I wonder why a lot of people seem to have developed their careers to a more advanced place by this age than I have. Then I remember that they have the maturity of a spoiled sixteen year-old and I feel less sorry for myself. Because really being able to calmly navigate tantrums is more valuable to me than money.

Not saying that the more advanced career thing wouldn't be nice. Lord knows, I'd like financial stability just as much as the next person. I'd like to be able to afford all those services that are supposed to make me a healthy well adjusted person. You know, spa packages, therapy sessions, exotic travel, whatever... now I'm making myself laugh.

Those are nice things but you know what? They are empty without friends, without family. I crave partnerships. What I need more than all the fancy recreational activities is a friend or two to lift the burden off me.

I suck at letting go. The older I get the harder it is to recover the less time I allow myself to rest. This is dangerous.