We had a rocky cruise tonight. I got punched twice. It happens. I'm pretty sure the soap Little Bear left us is making me sneeze.
The bat cave is a glorious thing to behold now that there's a new rack set up in it. It opens up so many possibilities.
O, my little lambs sleep well tonight tomorrow will have enough troubles of its own.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
072211
The truth of this night is the foreboding creeping in the back of my head. Why is it there?
Honestly I haven't slept well the past few nights and doubt that I will sleep well tonight. There's too much expectation going on. Too much to think of. Like why do I live an individual life? I wonder if it were possible to live a conventional life. But like the prophet I'm not allowed to. That may mark me as eccentric or artistic. But people don't put a lot of stock in either lifestyle. They certainly don't offer a servant artist much. And that is what I am. I claim no responsibility or take no pride in the work. Satisfaction is permitted for a job well done but not rest. No, that must wait. Wait until all is complete.
Recent events turn me back to think about the concept of marriage again. Intellectually I see how natural it is and necessary for the peace of civilization to have this institution. But personally I don't see why society is so rigid about it. If I choose to marry let it be for the necessity of it. Not some idealized lie.
These were heavy thoughts she had the eve before the wedding.
Honestly I haven't slept well the past few nights and doubt that I will sleep well tonight. There's too much expectation going on. Too much to think of. Like why do I live an individual life? I wonder if it were possible to live a conventional life. But like the prophet I'm not allowed to. That may mark me as eccentric or artistic. But people don't put a lot of stock in either lifestyle. They certainly don't offer a servant artist much. And that is what I am. I claim no responsibility or take no pride in the work. Satisfaction is permitted for a job well done but not rest. No, that must wait. Wait until all is complete.
Recent events turn me back to think about the concept of marriage again. Intellectually I see how natural it is and necessary for the peace of civilization to have this institution. But personally I don't see why society is so rigid about it. If I choose to marry let it be for the necessity of it. Not some idealized lie.
These were heavy thoughts she had the eve before the wedding.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Stress Management: should nature be our limit?
I work in a high stress low recovery job. It would be amazing if the people around me could help me see the danger signs in myself. Unfortunately their focus is primarily on their own narrow interests, namely, their work and emotional life. This, I am told, is natural.
Should nature be our limit?
There is a twinge of injustice assigned to using science as a justification for selfishness. My spirit is angry with it. Deep down none of us want to be ignored. I think we wallow within ourselves for two reasons, insecurity and power. (There may be more)
Anxiety or if you rather insecurity, the obsession over something out of your immediate power. When all your decisions are ruled by anxiety your situation is negative. True some insecurities are benign, like spiders. In general they only cause mild inconvenience and a small amount of embarrassment. But taken to extremes and other people may not be able to work with this and begin to degrade the sufferer.
As soon as society makes such an assignment it becomes very difficult to ask for relief because no one appreciates that the sufferer is suffering anything serious. In America we are taught to suffer a grate deal and never tell the truth about it unless it involves something physical like rape or murder. After all who really wants to be burdened with my reoccurring thought pains?
The other reason we wallow within ourselves is a belief in our own power. Yes, we are amazing, we do influence some very serious things. But there is a limit to what any one of us can do.
This limit causes two major reactions. One is fear. The other a rashness that disregards consequences. Caution would have us stay within the bounds of conventional wisdom. Unfortunately conventional wisdom can only work in a narrow sort of way. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm saying it's flawed and can't really describe reality or truth or whatever you call it. As to the rashness that disregards consequence, I'll point to the human record of resource management. Where depletion and pollution figure prominently.
All in all we have very little control over this situation. No one thing will salve it short of converting the entire human race to one comprehensive plan. This does not bode well for as we know this is very unlikely. Yet we keep trying because we think we know this is important.
To keep the stress at bay it is important to remember that though you think having control will solve the problem it actually won't. I know this is sort of difficult because society would have you believe that you can think or control your way out of misery. In my experience this is not entirely true. You stop being miserable the moment you acknowledge you have no control and place that power into some thing else. I've always chosen to give that power to God and that's work well for me. You will make your own choice.
Seeing clearly what you are dealing with dose make a difference. That's why education is sooooo important.
Should nature be our limit?
There is a twinge of injustice assigned to using science as a justification for selfishness. My spirit is angry with it. Deep down none of us want to be ignored. I think we wallow within ourselves for two reasons, insecurity and power. (There may be more)
Anxiety or if you rather insecurity, the obsession over something out of your immediate power. When all your decisions are ruled by anxiety your situation is negative. True some insecurities are benign, like spiders. In general they only cause mild inconvenience and a small amount of embarrassment. But taken to extremes and other people may not be able to work with this and begin to degrade the sufferer.
As soon as society makes such an assignment it becomes very difficult to ask for relief because no one appreciates that the sufferer is suffering anything serious. In America we are taught to suffer a grate deal and never tell the truth about it unless it involves something physical like rape or murder. After all who really wants to be burdened with my reoccurring thought pains?
The other reason we wallow within ourselves is a belief in our own power. Yes, we are amazing, we do influence some very serious things. But there is a limit to what any one of us can do.
This limit causes two major reactions. One is fear. The other a rashness that disregards consequences. Caution would have us stay within the bounds of conventional wisdom. Unfortunately conventional wisdom can only work in a narrow sort of way. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm saying it's flawed and can't really describe reality or truth or whatever you call it. As to the rashness that disregards consequence, I'll point to the human record of resource management. Where depletion and pollution figure prominently.
All in all we have very little control over this situation. No one thing will salve it short of converting the entire human race to one comprehensive plan. This does not bode well for as we know this is very unlikely. Yet we keep trying because we think we know this is important.
To keep the stress at bay it is important to remember that though you think having control will solve the problem it actually won't. I know this is sort of difficult because society would have you believe that you can think or control your way out of misery. In my experience this is not entirely true. You stop being miserable the moment you acknowledge you have no control and place that power into some thing else. I've always chosen to give that power to God and that's work well for me. You will make your own choice.
Seeing clearly what you are dealing with dose make a difference. That's why education is sooooo important.
Monday, July 11, 2011
UftPM
I stumbled off the ship at 10:30. And I mean it was a miracle (a real one) that I didn't run anyone over on the way home. See I'm exhausted. Have been since Thursday. It's really hard to have a fun attitude when you're exhausted and people demand your attention all the time. I'm not excusing anything, just saying.
Things have quieted down a lot. Though now that that is the case people will want some sort of excitement. Look it doesn't have to be a disaster. You know you could just joke around more and be silly. After all this is a silly ship. Or rather it wants to be a silly ship and could be if you let it. But, no, you have to be all serious and dressed well to cover your insecurities.
I'm rambling. I'll take my one day off and be glad for it. Don't call me I won't answer my phone tomorrow.
Things have quieted down a lot. Though now that that is the case people will want some sort of excitement. Look it doesn't have to be a disaster. You know you could just joke around more and be silly. After all this is a silly ship. Or rather it wants to be a silly ship and could be if you let it. But, no, you have to be all serious and dressed well to cover your insecurities.
I'm rambling. I'll take my one day off and be glad for it. Don't call me I won't answer my phone tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Rebound Girl
late night
it's all done
she left you on your own
another break-up for your wall
so you come home
give me a call
you ask how i am
maybe we could do something
that's when i know
i'm your rebound girl
it's all done
she left you on your own
another break-up for your wall
so you come home
give me a call
you ask how i am
maybe we could do something
that's when i know
i'm your rebound girl
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