March 3, 2007

Tonight, I take a moment to remember the events of four years ago. I may have posted this before. I don't really feel like checking.

*Written the day my brother called home after disappearing for three days.*

Where are you my brother
my brother my arm
even my arm
my right arm
I watch we melt
my parents worst nightmare
three days in a tomb
and on the fourth he rose
on the forth day he rose
on the fourth
three days
and on the fourth
it's true he rose

Clouds part
the sea breaks
your cork bobs into shore
I want to raise you
inspect you in sun light
test you to see what you are
plain treasure
to be stored in my heart
my hart even my heart

I must assemble you
piece by piece
solder you together
with hot tears
polish you with the grease
of my unwashed hair
until you shine a jeweled thing
set in humble dob

Blazes

she sleeps best who sleeps well
I sleep best when I'm allowed
I'm not allowed anymore

just decide
it's easy

why the words are simple
but the effort
the effort swallows them
what is there to fear
I love
love
love

torn apart by circumstance
torn by choice
anxious
anxious for peace
longing for calm

driver drop me here
yes here in the woods
away from the concrete
out with the bears
I'll take a chance on emptiness

and I became the bones
the empty bones
begging the world to end
I can't stand to be empty any more
I can't stand the chipping
chipping paint

UftPM

Caliban, otherwise known as Satan, was in a bad mood. His annoyance permeated through his force-field. It was a trying time to have your ride transporting drugs in Mexico when you needed it for your favorite consort and your offspring. Now he would have to go to Moose Nation to collect the spare. As if this weren't enough the baby sitter flaked.

"I'm Lord of the Damned!" he muttered punctuating "Lord" and "Damned" with jabs at the cork board. And so, weirdness reigned this night.

Oh, Dark Star he won't wear Vanity's cuff. He won't even look at it.

UftPM

Okay there was a shark out there. Mother Bear told me she wanted to harpoon it. I think Testa got some darts off at it. Which was awesome. You know it's serious when Chuckles complains. Apparently he told Jello to talk to the powers that be about such incidents.

I had a pretty good day.

Do they just stair into space for no reason?

Rode the bus to work. Sat in front of raver kids.

My body was convinced that it was Saturday.

Later, me and my bro crashed the Magnolia's party and nearly got kicked out by the wait staff.

Admittedly we looked kind of grungy. But man there was so much food still and the party was clearly over so why not let us eat some cheese squares? (Which they probably got from Vons [or their distributor].)

UftPM

Mother Bear tells me things. I like this about her.

Sadly Mouse will leave us way sooner than he should. I think Jello will ask Meat Ball to come back. They'll still heir a "temp".

Testa re-upped. I win the bet!

Cry of the Prarie Dog

*for 2 voices*

I am but a worried creature
I am but a worried creature looking up

is looking down on me
and up is looking down on me

off in a distant land

far from my colony

just like me
a squeaking fan sounds just like me

warning of approaching danger

the coming of an alien hand

and old and shunned
come to snatch the young and shunned

the fan squeaks because it is rusty

a sign of good neglect

I squeak because I'm hungry

danger yet overhead.
or there is danger yet overhead.

Money

I was thinking about money recently. I did some math and came to the conclusion that I don't need much. This was freeing. It means I don't have to work five days in a row. I can work exactly as much as I need to and use the rest of my time to build up a community out of the shambles of my previous isolation. And the money thing? Well, money is only a problem if you let it be one. If the only security you find in your life is through money you will never be content you will never be at peace. There will never be enough. Money can't touch my brokenness money will never change who I essentially am. It can't stop me from being depressed it can't bring me joy. I say all that with a clear head. I have so much I have never gone with out yet I have been miserable with a deep intense misery. The kind of misery privilege allows a senseless despair that rots out its host leaving a shell of a former self. Money couldn't touch that. I can't pay anyone to take the despair. Thankfully I don't have to.

There is a time to plan and a time to stop thinking. A time to eat and a time to sleep. I wish inactivity wasn't so misunderstood. Too many times I think people equate creative napping with laziness. Laziness results in nothing. Creative napping produces something.

Up-date from the Plotless Monster

Is it some sort of omen that tho the radio is plugged in and tells us so yet it refuses to turn on?

Mocking Bird wheezed heavily tonight. I'd prefer to not witness more tragedies. Otherwise, a calm night.

Up-date from the Plotless Monster

Yesterday was a bit rocky. All beginnings are a bit rocky really. Think about it our first one was getting bright light shined in our faces and some stranger slapping our rear end to make us scream.

Somewhere in there I realized that my problem lamb's are kinda growing on me. I told Little Bear that the longer I was around Testa the better I liked her. I know I've been critical, I have an anyliticle(?) mind, but all told she is reasonable. Vanity actually makes me laugh, unfortunately I don't think she know that...

Mouse settled in well. I think he'll be fine.